Ziggy of Stardust

Long distance

2010-11-17T20:26:00.002+11:00

Well, it's been a while since I've posted. During that time, I've completed my first year of my Masters, started a new role at work and feel I know Melbourne a whole lot better.

But some things never change. Somehow I've managed to report to yet another boss that is proving increasingly challenging. I'm now sure it has something to do with me. I read an article recently about self-driven learners who contribute innovative thought but find it difficult to recognise authority and aren't that pleasant to manage. That resonated on a number of levels with me!

Anyway, I'm sure I'll have more to write about shortly but for now I'm going to read the latest Margaret Atwood novel I've had sitting on my bedside table for about 6 months. It's been neglected due to the amount of papers I've had to read about systems psychodynamics. Hoorah for summer break!

new taboo?

2010-01-26T22:34:00.001+11:00

"Forget sex or politics or religion, loneliness is the subject that clears out a room." (Doug Coupland)

I'm a busy person. I seem to constantly have guests, eat and drink out, dance - all in addition to my normal work life.

In addition to all of this activity, I've also managed to 'see' a couple of guys regularly - yes, a couple. I'll name the first 'The Mechanic' due to his line of work - and the second, 'Mr Marketing'.

The Mechanic is outwardly heterosexual to the world. No-one in his life knows that he sexes men, so we see one another only in one of our places - never outside. The interaction is based on sexual need and supposedly nothing more. I've been 'seeing' him, however, for nearly a year... he's a nice guy, but for obvious reasons, it's going nowhere.

Mr Marketing is openly gay, has been single for about a year after having been in a committed relationship for nearly six. He is not interested in committing to another relationship at this stage so our interactions are just fun. Part of the reason I started sexing Mr Marketing was to ensure I didn't fall for The Mechanic. Look, it seemed logical at the time.

For nearly 10 days, I haven't had contact with either of them. I felt the need for some time to myself. Both situations were feeling transactional; I was feeling sad after I'd seen either of them. Yes, I am 'validated' when I see them. Yes, it makes me feel attractive for the time that I'm with them. But for how long?

I'm now consumed with the very emotion I've attempted to avoid through my interactions with these guys. But I'm not going to call either of them.

I'm going to try to validate from within for a change.

X-Angst

2009-08-30T10:22:00.005+10:00

So, I've been seeing my ex again for the last couple of months. And it's gone exactly the same way as last time, only this time sooner.

The minute we started to get close, he retreats. Major commitment/abandonment issues.

Lesson?

There was probably a very good reason he was an ex.

We'll go driving....

2009-07-17T22:48:00.003+10:00

(formerly) F/BF (Flatmate/Best Friend) and I are heading off on our Road Trip tomorrow. I've packed warm clothes, bad snacks, good books and created iPod playlists that hopefully reflect our driving moods.

We're heading down the Great Ocean Road for a few nights in a beachfront apartment (with an open fire cos it's winter), then off to the Coonawarra for some wine tasting before heading to the Grampians where we'll be staying in a mountain view 'treehouse'. Yay!

Boyfriend of the Week

2009-07-09T12:57:00.002+10:00

Just watched Be Kind Rewind for the second time. I love that movie. But I love Mos Def more.

Gay for Pay?

2009-05-24T09:19:00.003+10:00

I'm interested in the whole sexual continuum theory at the moment.

As a man who defines him self in a whole host of ways; being gay has always for me been just one element of who I am.

Last night, I had some friends over for dinner, including Ms Extrovert and a woman she has just started 'seeing'. The woman (let's call her Ms Dom) is 34 and has always been with men, but she met Ms Extrovert and is very attracted to her.

Ms Dom says at the moment that she feels that she is only attracted to men OR Ms Extrovert; but I wonder how malleable the continuum is. Once she's had this experience, if it doesn't work out, will she be more open to further experience with women?

In my mind, it doesn't matter anyway. All these things: gay, straight, bi - are just labels. I guess what does matter is how that label defines one's own internal voice, and subsequently how that allows one to interact with others.

The Dating Game

2009-05-03T15:42:00.003+10:00

So, I've been back in the race again recently.

See, last year I was seeing someone for about 4 months - but it was a very intense 4 months.

Basically, I was working from home (complete nightmare for someone who is a natural extrovert and therefore draws energy by being with others); was new to Melbourne, had very few friends (awwww) and met this guy whom I fell completely 100% head over heels for.

Of course, I completely consumed him. Between myself feeling needy and uncertain and him feeling terrified (this dude had major - with a capital M - commitment issues) the relationship self combusted.

The thing is, it was only the second time in my life that I'd been in love. The first time was with my long term boyfriend of just over 3 years.

So it has taken me a fair while to recover. My return to the dating game has only recently commenced. Thing is, I'd forgotten how tricky it can be. The rules around where to meet, what to do, how much to show, what to give, etc are very confusing.

My date this week was with a really lovely guy - nice looking, caring, smart and funny - problem is, there just wasn't that certain something. Call it chemistry, call it 'click', call it whatever you want. It was missing.

He, however, did feel chemistry, the 'click' or whatever you want to call it. Urgh.

Perhaps I should just stay at home and play on the internet.

Hot Diggy Action

2009-04-19T18:15:00.003+10:00

A friend of mine is visiting from Perth at the moment - she's over here for the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, in which her partner is performing in a musical comedy.

Having been invited to see his show, I felt somewhat apprehensive. What if I didn't like it? What if I had to feign laughter and she realised my inauthenticity? What if the jokes fell so flat I started to sweat profusely and drowned her?

I needn't have worried: the show was superb. And no, I'm not just saying that because my mate might read this. (ok, maybe just a little). No - I was literally belly laughing. A musical comedy ensemble piece that has Diggy Bones at it's centre: a blinged up soul funk gangster with a celebrity complex. Sound familiar? The best thing of all is that I believe (fear) that Diggy is just going to get bigger and bigger.

Seriously, if you're in Melbourne - check it out - the show is in its final week.

I'm sorry Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.

2009-04-06T22:16:00.003+10:00

Went to see 2001: A Space Odyssey yesterday after many years - it was on at my local cinema in 70mm - what a treat!

I'd forgotten just how shockingly brilliant this scene is (it gets going about a minute in)

Energy Saver Bulb

2009-04-05T09:20:00.005+10:00

You'd think that with age (!) it would get easier/simpler. But so far, that hasn't seemed to be the case.

It's been a while since I've posted - mostly due to the fact that I've been settling in to my new city (Melbourne) and attempting to make connections/work my new job/sort out my apartment.

Recently I've met someone; although my definition of the situation is that we are 'sleeping together'. His definition is somewhat different - we established that last night.

The problem being: when there is such a disconnect, I don't seem to action the obvious quickly enough. I feel way too concerned for the other individual's feelings - and in the process, disregard my own.

He's a lovely guy - warm, friendly, nice (a little too nice?) but there isn't that 'spark'. How many more 'dates' before I switch off the light?

The Gay Retiree

2008-08-21T17:16:00.004+10:00

I don't know how long my gay friends (and some of our straight ones) have been joking about how when we are at retirement age we will all move in to a gay (straight friendly of course) retirement village somewhere and reminisce over the good old (gay) days.

Now it appears that the very city I'm living in is offering just that! How I love my new city. Don't worry peeps; we're already on the waiting list.

Stay

2008-06-10T11:03:00.000+10:00

Stay - that's what I meant to say or do something

But what I never say is stay this time

I really meant to so bad this time

'Cause you can never really tell when somebody

Wants something you want too

Inuck Muck

2008-06-01T15:52:00.003+10:00

fF/BF ([formerly] Flatmate/Best Friend) & I went to see 'Inuk2' at the Arts Centre on Saturday, a piece of contemporary dance choreographed by Meryl Tankard, currently Director of the Sydney Dance Company.

We were both really excited about seeing some contemporary Australian dance, however, we were unfortunately bitterly disappointed.

The piece was incoherent, disjointed and frankly, boring.

Personally I think Tankard knew this before the show was even performed, given the gimmicky tricks she threw in such as dancers sliding across huge plastic sheets with water poured all over them. Puh-lease.

Jill Sykes wrote more eloquently about the shows failings than I ever could:

http://www.smh.com.au/news/arts-reviews/inuk2/2008/03/31/1206850753254.html

C'mon Tankard - if you're going to criticise 'So You Think You Can Dance' then at least have something to back up your words with. Michael Clark - please move to Melbourne!

OBF disturbs the peace

2008-03-18T17:58:00.003+11:00

OBF (Other Best Friend) came to visit! An added bonus - his new(ish) partner came with him. It was so great to have them here, we explored my new city some and even decided to do a road trip down the coast. Here are some pictures of our gay old time:

fantastic voyage

2007-12-15T19:39:00.002+11:00

well after quite a hiatus, I'm back! since I last wrote, I've relocated from England to Australia, spent three months in Perth and driven across the country from perth to melbourne. Along the way:

the longest, straightest road in Australia:

the glamorous accommodation:

...the equally sophiscated drinking establishments:

we saw no camels, 2 dead wombats and a number of kangaroos:

and not far from Melbourne, the amazing Great Ocean Road:

Boyfriend of Forever/Bye For Now

2007-03-02T02:07:00.000+11:00

Hey Peeps.

For now, work has overtaken my life.

So I present my Boyfriend of Forever for you all to drool over during my indefinite absence...

Political Truths

2007-02-08T21:43:00.000+11:00

So I went out on my first date for 2007 on Sunday. It’s been a while, so I felt quite nervous to be honest – it’s amazing how I out of practice I felt; given it has only been a few months since my last date.

Sunday's date was 38 years old, quite sexy and a Labour politician. We had a (seemingly) nice afternoon which continued in to the evening. At the end of the evening he said to me that he would message me the next day to arrange another time to meet up. I felt quite excited, which makes a nice change. Despite the fact he waxed so lyrical about Tony Blair that I nearly threw up.

It’s now Thursday and I still haven’t heard from him. I’m definitely voting Tory in the next election. Men suck. And not in a good way.

AHY: Welcome to the World

2007-02-01T20:33:00.000+11:00

I'm now an uncle.

AHY entered the world on Tuesday 30th January at 6.28am weighing 7lb 14oz and is absolutely gorgeous.

I am now officially in love.

Congratulations to my sister and B.I.L. of course.

I'm currently listening to...

2007-01-27T20:59:00.000+11:00

The Klaxons on repeat.

I love them. Golden Skans is genius.

Baby Talk

2007-01-19T23:55:00.000+11:00

It’s been lovely to get a few comments from people saying they miss my presence in the blogosphere; thank you peeps. It's nice to feel wanted.

I’m in a bit of a melancholy mood at the moment. I think it’s part January blues and also part my little sister being about to have her baby. I am, of course, completely ecstatic about my sister and B.I.L. having a child and my niece’s impending arrival; however, it has just made me think about myself and children.

As I age I sometimes think about what I want out of my life; especially with regards to children. My quandary, however, is the practicalities of the situation.

I have had several lesbian friends ask me (in all seriousness) to father children for them. On talking it through with them though, it just doesn’t seem acceptable to me. If I was to have a child, I would want to play an active role in that child’s life. I would want to live with the child, be responsible for that child, be a proper father to that child rather than a ‘male role model’ the child sees only occasionally. So how does this fit in to my lifestyle? How would this work when I don’t want to live with my lesbian friends and their partners? How would this work when my lesbian friends don’t want to live with me?

But when I see families on the tube as I did recently where it is obvious the parents have no real interest in their children and as a result a child’s eyes seem dull and generally disinterested in life; I feel angry and know that I could offer more to a child.

Anyway, for now I will content myself with my beautiful new niece who is about to be born… and enjoy the weekend!

Boyfriend of the Week

2007-01-12T22:54:00.000+11:00

Just quickly...

Ferdy from This Life.

I love him.

Have a great weekend!

What you do?

2007-01-04T03:40:00.000+11:00

Well, first things first: Happy New Year. Here's hoping 2007 is amazing. Thank you for all your lovely Christmas and New Year greetings, it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

I've been busy with Christmas and New Year festivities, and basically had my head completely out of everything else... which to be honest, has been absolutely fantastic. I needed a break.

I'm now back to work, have a new consultant to train, am organising a trip to Australia (coming in March), and attempting to not drink anything alcoholic before the 20th January (which is the triplets' 7th birthday at which I will most definitely be drinking simply to get through the event).

Blogging may therefore take a bit of a back seat for the moment.

Oh, and I've been watching re-runs of This Life over my break and have already dumped Samuel Johnson. His replacement will be shared shortly...

Boyfriend of the Week

2006-12-15T22:15:00.000+11:00

Well Christmas can't come soon enough... and not because I find the holiday truly inspirational or anything like that, but purely because I need a rest!

In short:

* Work is HELL.

* I want to move to Melbourne NOW rather than in a year's time.

* I hate the fact that London is about to descend in to WINTER.

* I need SLEEP.

However, in order to avoid seeming absolulely negative.... here is my new BOYFRIEND of the WEEK:

Yes, I've been watching repeats of Secret Life of Us late at night to remind me of where I will be living in a year's time. And I've fallen in love all over again.

Break in Transmission

2006-12-05T22:37:00.000+11:00

For now, I'm too busy to blog... so until next time:

Concuss-Head

2006-11-22T20:30:00.000+11:00

I managed somehow to give myself concussion on Friday night (I wasn't *that* drunk, honest), but a few highlights of my last few days include:

The Birthday Party of a pair of Dandy Gay Twins;

Dinner at the Criterion with Angela Bishop who was absolutely charming in quite a right wing way;

and finally...

Bill Henson at the V&As' Twilight Exhibition.

Sick Note.

2006-11-16T21:32:00.000+11:00

One of the consultants who works for me is a complete and utter nightmare. I think I've referred to him previously as TWG (The Welsh Gay). I don't actually have time to outline the extent of his nightmarish-ness, however, need to rant about one particular area of behaviour.

TWG is always (and I mean ALWAYS) afflicted with some type of illness or another. If not the flu, a diabetes-related condition (the diabetes itself is questionable), a kidney infection or a verruca (yep, waaaayyy too much information) - he is CONSTANTLY sick.

This year he has had something like 24 days off work for illness (more days than his holidays) and approximately 14 of those days have been on Mondays (chel surprise).

Last night I went out with the Handsome Lawyer for a catch up and he is working in employment law at the moment, he offered me some advice as to how I can sack him without fear of an employment tribunal - perhaps I'll take him up on that....

Master of Mystery

2006-11-10T23:04:00.000+11:00

Whilst on the tube homeward yesterday I snuck a peek at the tall, dark, handsome man's reading material sitting next to me and saw that he was reading something called The Mystery Method.

I did a quick scan and was surprised to see that it was actually a document to do with how to pick up women. And in my opinion, the advice wasn't that great.

Firstly, I didn't think it was that great that the 'target' was being referred to as a 'victim'. Since when did females who are being hit upon become 'victims'?!?

One line I glanced at said something like:

"Take the victim down from their friends, family and home. Once isolated they have no outside support and in their confusion are easily led astray."

Yep, I think the Mystery Method is definitely the way forward. It was developed by someone who is named Mystery. I bet he's a laugh a minute.

I wonder if The Mystery Method works with the gays?

Turning

2006-11-06T23:54:00.000+11:00

F/BF (Flatmate/Best Friend), OBF (Other Best Friend) and I went to see Anthony & the Johnsons with Charles Atlas at the Barbican in a show called 'Turning'.

A show which celebrates gender metamorphosis; the women on stage were truly celebrated in their beauty - each and every one had their moment to 'turn'.

F/BF started crying in the first song and didn't stop for over four songs. Antony's voice was as fragile yet powerful as ever and his songs took on even more resonance with the beauties' images being projected behind him.

I said to F/BF and OBF afterwards that I felt like we were watching an historic event; I have a feeling that the performance will inform and inspire artists for years to come. Truly incredible.

I've just bought an...

2006-11-02T00:43:00.000+11:00

Apartment! (... in Melbourne)

I now have no money! But I'm very excited!

This is my new living room!

Michael Clark

2006-10-30T20:37:00.000+11:00

So I finally have seen a Michael Clark dance performance.

I've been wanting to see one since I heard about him back in the early 90s and he worked with Leigh Bowery.

It exceeded any expectations I had - absolutely incredible. Mmm... runs until the 4th November at the Barbican.

The dance was thrilling, fresh and provocative.

3 words: GO SEE IT.

Boyfriend of the Week

2006-10-25T00:42:00.000+10:00

I haven't had a new boyfriend for ages; primarily because I haven't had time. However, F/BF (Flatmate/Best Friend) and I went to see Marie Antoinette on the weekend (not bad, beautifully filmed but soooo languid that I got a bit bored) and I decided on my new Boyfriend of the Week.

Jamie Dornan - welcome. And the way you look, I think you might last a while. I won't mess you around like Keira did. Honest.

Adventures of the Jacketini

2006-10-20T01:42:00.000+10:00

So I went out with my ex-boyfriend's brother (also a gay) on Friday night; I have always been very fond of him and he really makes me laugh - for a while he attempted to become fat enough to be labelled a bear; but only made it as far as cub status. We'll call him Cub for the purpose of this post.

I hadn't seen him for some time and have been working so hard that I knew I was well up for a few (aka many) drinks. We met at a very smart wine bar Grape Street in Bloomsbury and were surrounded by a mixture of very polite punters.

I'd decided to kill some time before I met him by shopping. For baby clothes. I've been going a bit mad since I found out my sister is pregnant, and now I've found out it's a girl I've been even worse. One of the items I purchased was an incredible double-breasted winter coat - in faux cream astrakan fur. It cost me more than I've spent on a single item of clothing for myself in some time - Cub and I decided to christen it "The Jacketini". A silence fell all around us and people nearby gasped when I pulled it out to show him.

Anyway, after 3 bottles of wine we foolishly decided to stumble to Trash Palace (why, oh why?!) where we carried on drinking until 3am.

I awoke the next morning with a vague recollection of knocking so loudly on the front door of my mews house to wake up F/BF (Flatmate/Best Friend) to open the door for me. I had forgotten that my house keys were in my pocket and not only woke up F/BF but half of the neighbourhood in the process. I quickly glanced around my room to see that I had my phone, wallet and shoulder bag - they were all present and accounted for. Then a horrible thought slowly dawned on me: Where is the Jacketini and other baby clothes?

I scrambled out of bed and did a search of the entire house - surely they were dumped in the hallway or on the stairs? No, no Jacketini to be found.

Obviously I went in to complete and utter meltdown. I was sure that having left them in the Palace of Trash that some lesbian couple had taken them for their soon to be born baby - why wouldn't they? Who wouldn't?

On speaking to Cub he informed me that he'd left his bag there as well and was going to check with the bar (once it reopened) to see if the Jacketini there. I was unhopeful.

Later that day Cub called me and gleefully screamed down the phone that the Jacketini was safe! I was so happy I could have kissed him. Somehow it managed to escape the clutches of the soon-to-be-lesbian-mothers and my soon-to-be-born-neice will be the most glamorous of all Perth babies.

I only hope that tonight is not a repeat performance...

Humour Me.

2006-10-13T18:57:00.000+10:00

Was this when he was at his most beautiful? Yes, yes, it was.

Shoulder Pads

2006-10-11T23:15:00.000+10:00

Moan of the day.

As I mentioned, we've had a new trainee - we'll call her Cheeky Mare (CM) for the purposes of this post (she's lovely and cheeky in a good way) - start at my company about a month ago who I'm responsible for managing. We have set her targets together; I believe that people are best motivated when self driven - we are all unique creatures and different people are motivated by different things.

Ginger Boss (GB) decided today that she was obviously not involved enough in this process - perhaps she doesn't think I'm doing my job as manager properly (!?) - so decided to pitch our two consultants against each other in a 'competition' which will culminate in a prize for the person with the best sales figures.

It's really pissed me off. I mean, firstly; obviously she thinks it is entirely reasonable to undermine me as a manager. Secondly, how bloody eighties-power management-padded shoulders does she want to be?!!

Can you tell I'm completely over my job?

Over and Out

2006-10-09T20:36:00.000+10:00

I could write about my brilliant weekend. I could write about how full on my job is right now. I could write about my attempt to buy an apartment in Melbourne. But I'm not going to. I've got something I have to get off my chest.

I am SO VERY BORED with Kate Moss. Yes, she of the slightly dirty looking face/hair; the drug-addled boyfriend whose band has just cancelled the rest of their tour because he's doing 'so well' at rehabilitating; the 3 year old child that has to live with the fact her mother is a drug dependent loser.

Why is it that this stupid, irresponsible woman still manages to stay on top?

How long ago was it that she was caught with her noseful of the white powder? Yet somehow she manages to be splashed all over our TV screens and magazines in what seems to be new contracts? What does this say about us, the general public?

Kate Moss - I think you should crawl under a rock somewhere. Frankly, you look dirty and you bore me.

Three Things

2006-10-04T19:34:00.000+10:00

1. I feel ambushed by work. Right now it is overtaking my life. I don't live to work, I work to live - but right now, it feels the other way round.

2. I have the autumnal blues. All I can think about is the impending winter. At least it is going to be the last one in London I have to deal with for a while.

3. I miss having time to read all my fellow bloggers' thoughts. It sounds slightly ridiculous, but I've come to enjoy hearing about your lives and wonder what I am missing out on when I don't have the time to read you!

Hungover-Head.

2006-10-02T01:27:00.000+10:00

This is about all I can manage today, after last night's little number. It's all Dale's fault. He made me drunken blog. Honest, he did.

Blog of the Drunk.

2006-10-01T07:21:00.000+10:00

right.

we're talking about party lines. It was a late 80s/early 90s thing. You called a phone line and there was a group of people chatting all together. And we used to pretend that we were other people. That was the party line.

3 bottles of wine down - first time for drunken blogging.

OBF (Other Best Friend) and F/BF (Flatmate/Best Friend) are talking about pretending to be people they are not. And paranoia. Something I'm quite familiar with.

oh I like alcohol.

Back to M.I.A.

Wedding of the Year

2006-09-28T20:00:00.000+10:00

I'm such a busy bee at the moment with work that I don't have a moment to scratch myself let alone blog...

I feel the need to quickly list the highlights of the Wedding of the Year between Marito and Mad Girl. OBF (Other Best Friend) took the Wedding photos, I'll post one when I have one but in the meantime, here's the invitation.

Edited highlights...

* Marito (in his fabulous Ozwald Boateng suit) and I drinking champagne together before the ceremony to calm his nerves;

* The group of hilarious "A-list Gays" (NOT) including Big Brother's Josh Rafter looking pumped full of steroids and leaving the wedding early to go to Revenge;

* Mad Girl's fantastic fifties inspired, powder pink dress - and how much weight she'd lost! (laxatives, surely!?);

* The photo shoot on Brighton Beach with champagne;

* Wedding Speeches by Mad Girl's 2 sons - both made me cry;

* The Crispy Pork Belly I ate for my lunch;

* Ziggy slumped on a seat at the end of the evening asking random people to remind him what his name was.

Smooth Moves

2006-09-26T22:14:00.000+10:00

I'm still here.

Just recovering from moving in to our new mews house.

And the Wedding of the Year.

Exhaust-Head.

Awakening

2006-09-20T23:57:00.000+10:00

A little while ago, I ended up in bed with somebody who is a very good friend. We have been friends for some time - I really value his friendship. I have never done something like that before but it felt entirely right - there has always been a certain sexual tension in our friendship.

Bizarrely though, it awoke something within me. I've been by myself for a while now, and I think I had neglected to remember what intimacy at that level is like. Because him and I are good friends, the whole thing felt entirely natural and comfortable - tickling... laughing; he burped... I laughed; he held me in bed... I sighed.

I had thought for a while that I was better off being single - I know that this has to do with trust issues and resultant barriers I've placed around myself subsequent to The Wanker.

But this little interlude suddenly re-reminded me what is so good about being in a relationship - those pure moments of connection which might not seem that significant but feel really, really special.

Just a moment...

2006-09-19T03:02:00.000+10:00

F/BF (Flatmate/Best Friend) and I started our move over the weekend. GB (Ginger Boss) had been kind enough to loan me her car so that we could start moving over things like books, glassware, crockery, etc. It wasn’t too bad, although by Saturday afternoon when I was driving the car across London back to GB’s place I was pretty exhausted.

By the time I reached GB’s I was desperate for a drink of the alcoholic variety and thankfully, so was GB. We ended up in Balham Kitchen & Bar, and one drink turned in to five. (Ziggy the devil strikes again).

Anyway, I had to take the tube home and feeling slightly intoxicated, put my iPod on. At Elephant & Castle station I changed on to the Bakerloo line, and on the way down the platform walked past a very attractive looking guy (Blonde Adonis) walking in the opposite direction. He glanced at me but I was almost certain he was straight. And even if he was gay, he was completely out of my league.

I got on the Bakerloo line tube in the last carriage and awaited the train to depart. Three minutes wait is a long time on the London Underground! Just before the train departed, I was slightly bewildered to see Blonde Adonis jump on to my carriage – why? Just a few minutes ago I had seen him walking in the opposite direction.

I soon realised that Blonde Adonis was rather drunk. He almost fell in to the woman sitting next to him when he sat down, and smirked to himself in a goofy stylee. I smirked back because I knew the feeling (and his smile made me feel warm and fuzzy). The tube is quite a surreal place when you’re drunk – you realise that everyone around you potentially thinks you are an idiot, but what do you care?

All of a sudden I realised that Blonde Adonis was staring intently at me. Of course, I refused to look anywhere near his direction. I am crap at situations like this, particularly when I find someone physically attractive.

A few stations on and Blonde Adonis stood up (almost falling on top of me in the process). He stood right in front of me and stared at me, before walking to the nearest door (stumbling in the process but pretending to stretch whilst glancing over at me).

As the doors opened, he looked at me and mouthed ‘get off here with me’. I obviously looked confused so he repeated the command ‘get off here with me’.

I shook my head (probably not that convincingly as I really wanted to get off with him – in every sense of the expression) and as the door pulled shut, he stood with his arms held wide apart and a sad puppy dog look on his face as the train pulled away.

A girl sitting opposite me then indicated for me to take my earphones out, which I did:

Tube Girl: “um…. Why the hell didn’t you get off with him??”

I so didn’t have a good answer to that question.

My first ever gig

2006-09-15T06:36:00.000+10:00

I read Marni's post today, and it reminded me of a very special life moment for me.

When I was a very little boy, we used to live next to a family who had two teenage children - whom I thought were supercool. At the age of 6, the girl in the house used to babysit me (she would have been around 14 I guess) and play me her vinyl records. She was a bit of a bogan, but at the age of 6 I could not imagine anything cooler than black ugg boots, skinny tight black jeans and a flannelette shirt.

About this time I started to acquire an taste in rock music; the band who really captured my imagination were KISS. Here were these 4 really mysterious men wearing make up and lycra suits, one whose tongue was so long that there were rumours he'd had it lengthened. They played tunes that made this little 6 year old think he was somewhere a million miles away from Perth suburbia. (yes, the suffocation of suburban life was getting to me even at 6 years of age...)

So when my mother heard that KISS were playing a live rock concert at the Perth Entertainment Centre the following year, she decided to do the most amazing thing. She camped overnight in front of the centre with my best friend's mother to secure tickets for us all.

And so it came about that my first ever gig was KISS, at 7 years of age. Mum bought me some skinny black jeans and a Paul Stanley t-shirt, we turned up at the gig, the only slight dampener being when Mum made me put cotton wool in my ears.

I love my Mum. She rocks, much more than KISS .

playmeyours

2006-09-13T17:59:00.000+10:00

Remember I told you about the most fabulous Random Girl and the mp3-jack-swapping-incident which restored my faith in humanity? Well I received this little treat in my inbox today:

Hello Zig,

It's Random Girl. Colour me happy - I'm grinning from ear to ear. You have no idea how much YOU'VE made MY day just from reading your blog! If I have achieved anything in life, it was asking you to playmeyours - which was my own personal challenge - to ask someone who was listening AND reading at the same time. Most of the time that screams 'DO NOT DISTURB' but you engaged and I was so grateful.

I'm working with a couple of friends on ideas for my site. Now, I've just had a big push to get this sorted!!

Thanks again for that great recap of our 'moment'. Really special.

Until the next time...

RG x

I *so* hope that Random Girl gets this site up and running before some big corporation like Apple do it before her... GO Random Girl, GO!!

Reading Material

2006-09-11T23:16:00.000+10:00

Huge weekend, completely trashed, my brain is numb - so best I can do is this tag given to me by the most glorious Dabich:

1. One book that changed your life: Sarah by J.T. Leroy.

2. One book that you’ve read more than once: The Magic Faraway Tree by Enid Blyton.

3. One book you’d want on a desert island: The Complete David Bowie by Nicholas Pegg.

4. One book that made you laugh: Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs.

5. One book that made you cry [or feel really sad]: Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami.

6. One book that you wish had been written: Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides.

7. One book that you wish had never been written: How the Dead Live by Will Self.

8. One book you’re currently reading: The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri.

9. One book you’ve been meaning to read: Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier.

10. Now tag some other people: I tag Good Girl, Erik and CuteCTGuy!

I've just noticed that I've been tagged by Good Girl, bear with me GG - I promise I'll do it when my brain is back in gear!

Mix Tape

2006-09-08T23:07:00.000+10:00

Desperately Seeking Translator

2006-09-08T01:31:00.000+10:00

I've been listed on some French blog called Le R*ck est m*rt (Rock is Dead?!) bizarrely but given I can't understand French, am not entirely sure why.

I attempted to work out this mystery with the use of an online translating tool. I started with the phrase: être tombé sur un blog décadent and it threw me two possibilities:

1. to have fallen on a decadent blog; or

2. to have fallen on a declining blog.

um, I'm *really* hoping it is the first option. Does anyone speak French? If so, please go to the site and let me know whether I'm marvellous or simply merde...

Porny Art and Random Girls

2006-09-06T06:46:00.000+10:00

I went to see the premiere of Destricted at the Tate Modern tonight. OBF (Other Best Friend) was supposed to be accompanying me but unfortunately couldn't make it from the airport in time (he was arriving back from Amsterdam where he had been to see Madonna).

Given the material, he was literally about the only person I would have felt comfortable sitting next to. The 7 short films explore the lines between art and pornography, and the producers have commissioned some really interesting (and controversial in their own right) artists; Matthew Barney, Marina Abramovic, Larry Clarke, Marco Brambilla, Richard Prince, Sam Taylor-Wood and Gaspar Noé.

Sam Taylor-Wood's piece felt quite obvious, to the point that one member in the audience proclaimed a large sympathetic 'oh' when the man masturbating in Death Valley reached his denoument, with a rather disappointing amount of jizz (if any?). Similarly obvious was We Fuck Alone by Noé, although rather more disturbing.

Matthew Barney's piece, Hoist was typically visceral and really rather beautiful, albeit tense to watch (especially for a man wondering what might happen to the bloke who was being filmed if his tackle got caught in the machinery...)

Marian Abramovic's ode to Balkan folklore had the entire audience chortling with delight, but the highlight of the films for me was Larry Clarke's superb deconstruction of how people born after 1980 have been shaped by their heightened access to pornography - Impaled. As usual, Clarke's focussed (and slightly perverted) vision seems to manage to strike exactly the right balance between making his audience feel amused and simply dirty.

I caught the tube home with my head full of tits, cocks, butts and money shots listening to my ipod, when a Random Girl got on and gestured to my ipod...

Random Girl: What are you listening to?

Ziggy: David Bowie.

Random Girl: Right, I do this thing where I ask someone on the tube to play me a track of theirs that they've been listening to loads and I play them one of mine. Are you up for it?

Ziggy: Yeah, sounds cool.

We then proceed to play one another our chosen tracks (I chose to play her Joan As Policewoman's 'Save Me', while she played me 'Do Not As I Do' by Hanne Hukkelberg). I loved that moment. One girl bored of the benign attitude of London tube travellers decides to engage people through music.

This little interlude couldn't have come at a better time to be honest. It shifted my rather dark mood and I got to listen to some fantastic new music in the process. Thanks Random Girl.

'cause you can never really tell

2006-09-04T06:37:00.000+10:00

My weekend: started writing my business plan for Australia, laughed and cried with OBF (Other Best Friend), caught up with FLiH (Friend Living in Houston) who was visiting for the weekend for dinner and drinks and then sat on my sofa today and had some time by myself - the first time it seemed in ages. My bipolarity was in full force, of course.

Stay - that's what I meant to say or do something
But what I never say is stay this time
I really meant to so bad this time
'Cause you can never really tell when somebody
Wants something you want too

Homo-Tag

2006-09-01T06:13:00.000+10:00

CuteCTGuy has tagged me (oo-er, missus) - but as usual it's taken me a few days to do it.... !

1... Things that scare me
dishonesty
fear
insincerity

2...People who make me laugh

Gina Riley aka Kim
Catherine Tate
My B.I.L. (Brother In Law)

3...Things I hate the most

Ignorance
Coldplay
Unclaimed farts

4...Things I don't understand

Life
My Brain
The Middle East crisis

5...Things I'm doing right now

Typing this
Pretending to work
Drinking coffee

6...Things I want to do before I die

Meet David Bowie
Have sex with David Bowie
Marry David Bowie

7... Things I can do

Laugh
Cry
Dance

8... Ways to describe my personality

Honest
Stubborn
Contradictory

9... Things I can't do

Lie to people I love
A backflip (which really bothers me)
Curl my tongue

10...Things I think you should listen to

David Bowie
Kate Bush
Radiohead

11...Things you should never listen to

Listen to anything you like, why should I tell you what not to listen to?!?

12...Things I'd like to learn

To play the piano
To speak Japanese
More about human psychology

13...Favorite foods

Barbequed Seafood
Any Japanese food
Confit de Canard

14...Beverages I drink regularly

Water
Coffee
Gin

15...Shows I watched as a kid

Fraggle Rock
The Muppet Show
Monkey aka Monkey Magic!

I now tag Good Girl, the very bovvered Dale AND Bluez ;-)

Happy Weekends!

Decisions, Decisions

2006-08-29T23:07:00.000+10:00

I've made a rather major life decision.

I've decided that I am going to move back to Australia in a year's time.

It has been bubbling away in my mind for a while but finally I've decided it is what I want (and need) to do.

Which means I have a year left here in London, and I need to do lots of things before I leave.

So on my jam-packed weekend, my good friend (and fellow Book Club member) DJ Slippers and I went to Claridge's for afternoon tea. It was lovely sitting in the Art Deco foyer and drinking tea out of the Claridge's bone china.

DJ Slippers looked like a modern day Bettie Page (albeit fully dressed), with her Louise Brooks black bob, a leopard print chiffon blouse, pencil skirt and tailored black jacket.

I was wearing a fitted white shirt, pin stripe trousers, some *very* pointy black shoes and a thin grey tie...

...we looked like something out of a fifties fashion shoot.

On walking through the revolving doors, the numerous groups of grannies and the ultra wealthy sipping tea seemed to all stare at us in unison - I don't think we were the type of clientele the place was used to.

Who cares... we felt fabulous and the smoked salmon finger sandwiches were delicious.

Book Club Session 2

2006-08-29T22:22:00.000+10:00

Saturday night we had our second book club meeting - this time the book was DJ Slippers' choice: Wise Children by Angela Carter.

The night was hosted by DJ Slippers and Mrs Vanderbilt and was a complete success - the wine never stopped flowing and the food was delicious.

Wise Children seemed to inspire some rather passionate debate which was great - I, myself, didn't feel that I accessed the novel as well as I could have done; and posed the question as to whether this may have been because I am male. This notion was not supported by Kevin Aucoin, however, who absolutely adored the novel (as did DJ Slippers; Mrs Vanderbilt was more in my camp) and by the end of the book felt a tingle of appreciation from head to toe.

The carnivalesque themes of the book appealed to most of us to varying degrees, and the Shakespearean references irritated some more than others (me the most, it has to be said...!).

The book club ended with a random choice of our next novel (from a choice of four books) by Coco Chanel (DJ Slippers and Mrs Vanderbilt's kitty) who was so definite in her decision that no-one could possibly argue. Her choice? The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri (as suggested by Kevin Aucoin).

Hoorah!

Boyfriend of the Week

2006-08-25T23:40:00.000+10:00

Normally my boyfriends are not *quite* this beautiful, but I simply couldn't help myself.

Gael García Bernal - congratulations. Even though you are so beautiful, you can be my boyfriend.

Of the week.

In other news, I'm literally ecstatic that people are starting to realise how truly disgusting Mel Gibson is. He truly revolts me.

Beer, Anyone?

2006-08-23T19:15:00.000+10:00

I was out of London for the weekend; it was great to have a break from the city and the pressures here. My fug lifted slightly which was great.

However, the weekend was also about catching up with some friends of mine who live out of London - friends I've had for a long time and who are incredibly dear to me.

Although the weekend was nice (good to see friends, get out of London, etc), there was a couple of moments that really confused me. One of my dear friends there (we'll call her Dear Friend - DF for the purpose of this post) seemed to be acting out of character quite a lot; she was quite aggressive (normally she is the most easy going, gentle woman around) and then withdrawn and quiet at other times.

Monday I was back at work (with a vengeance - we are working on a huge tender which is quite overwhelming) and I received a call from my friend (MofBAY) whose place we were all staying at for the weekend. It transpires that DF had broken down just after I left and told MofBAY (in between the sobs that lasted for over 3 hours) that she felt a 'useless mother' and that her children hated her; that she was on the verge of leaving it all and that she simply couldn't cope.

The call upset me greatly - mostly because this has obviously been going on for DF for some time but because of the 'taboo' surrounding mental health, DF simply didn't feel able to talk about it. Why is that?

It is fine for us to discuss with friends how we feel physically - but to talk about our psychological/emotional state is not as simple. Society feels nowhere near as comfortable with mental health as it does with physical health - and I believe we all suffer because of it.

In other news, I recently watched a film which was possibly the most bizarre (and beautiful) film I've ever seen - Guy Maddin's The Saddest Music in the World. Guy Maddin is a genius; I wonder how his mental health is?

Heavy Fog

2006-08-18T22:40:00.000+10:00

My head is in a complete fug at the moment. I don’t really understand what that’s about; I just feel dazed and confused. And not necessarily in a good way.

I puked a few times (not alcohol induced) yesterday and the day before also so decided to have the day off work yesterday. In amongst all of this: Wednesday night I had gone on my fourth (and final) date with HL (Handsome Lawyer).

The soundtrack to the fog surrounding me has been a mix of:

1. Joan of Police Women*:

I don't want to live for tomorrow
save me
I don't want to live for tomorrow
save me
I don't want to live for tomorrow
I don't want to live for the dying chance
if you're already good as gone
if you're already good as gone

2. CSS:

Come and erase me, take me with you.
Kiss me I’m drunk, don’t worry it’s true
I want you to show me how mad is your love
Come and attack me, it’s not gonna hurt

Fight me, deny me if I fear when you’re close
Let’s make love and listen to death from above…

3. The Grates**:

Some mother fuckers think they're born to dance,
Some mother fuckers think they're born to, dance,
Shakin' like you don't know what you're waiting for,
Shake like bacon ice cold it's floored,
But you're stuck,

Inside inside inside inside inside, outside,
Outside outside outside outside outside, inside,
Now, twirl for me,
Twirl like a little girl…

And I wonder my head is in a fog…

* thanks to F/BF (Flatmate/Best Friend) for discovering the beauty of Joan…

** and thanks to B.I.L (Brother In Law) for alerting me to the energy of The Grates...

Exhaust-Head.

2006-08-15T18:53:00.000+10:00

That's it, kids. I have officially had too much to do. My liver has begun to bark again. Organic had a serious word about this with me recently and I know it's not good.

My weekend was too full to talk about in detail, but my Saturday sort of sums it up:

I caught the train down to Brighton to see Marito and his soon-to-be-wife, Mad Girl at their wedding venue for lunch - I've been asked to be Best Man so we needed to talk through how it was all going to happen. He is my straight husband and she is a bitch for stealing him from me. Sigh.

I arrived at the venue at 1.30pm and as I had somehow arrived before them (even though my journey was an hour and a half and they live literally around the corner from the place) I decided to start with a glass of champagne (well it was the middle of the day, it's only right). Marito flew in to the place in a highly strung flap and Mad Girl followed shortly after - and the drinking commenced. My goodness, do those two know how to drink. A long, leisurely and frankly lovely lunch ensued, followed by literally hours of drinking (champagne, I decided that if I stuck to champagne my hangover wouldn't be as bad as if I mixed.... the logic seemed right at the time.)

I ended up falling out of the place at 10pm and somehow getting a taxi to take me back to Brighton station in an attempt to catch the last train back to London. Which I somehow managed. Problem being the last train was a 'stop' train, which takes nearly twice as long as the express. Great.

A very drunken Ziggy on board the last train with a bunch of other drunken random strangers singing along with my music (compliments of my ipod turned up very loud so we could all hear it through the earphones - the music was actually not that important anyway, our voices were doing the job fine).

I got home at around 1am and was pleasantly surprised to find F/BF drinking (you guessed it...) champagne.

So of course I carried on drinking with the lovely lady (such a gentleman) and we ended the night with our furniture pushed out of the way in our living room and some crazy laydee dancing.

Fabulous.

You Muppet!

2006-08-10T19:27:00.000+10:00

Things seem to have turned a corner a bit for me, I'm feeling a bit better. A couple of good things that have happened include:

1. Had date # 3 with Handsome Lawyer (HL). He took me to Rules which, although supposedly a bit of a tourist trap, is amazing. Really good, comforting English food cooked very well. I'm not saying anything more about the evening yet...

2. Spoke to my beautiful friend The Doctor and resolved our issues - we spoke on the phone last night for one and a half hours and I, for one, feel much better for having had the conversation.

But what I'm much more interested in talking about today is the DVD I watched last night - Muppet's Wizard of Oz.

I love the Muppets, but recent films like this one just don't cut it in my opinion. Dorothy was played by a lacklustre Ashanti, Aunt Em by Queen Latifah (puh-lease. she can't act for shit) and some of the muppets just didn't seem to sparkle like they used to.

There were still a couple of choice moments, I particularly liked Toto being played by Pepe the Prawn, Okay?

But now for my question of the day (and what an important question it is...):

Who is your favourite Muppets character and why?

I'll get the ball rolling - mine is Beaker for the following 5 star performance:

Crying Cats and Happy Endings

2006-08-07T23:15:00.000+10:00

BAY (Beautiful and Young) and her family whom I love (one and all) bought me a ticket to see The Cat Empire for my birthday back in May; the actual gig was Friday night. It was the first time BAY and her younger sister had been to a gig and to be honest, this very fact excited me even more than the gig itself. I think The Cat Empire are OK musically, not enough to buy their CD though.

The gig itself was fantastic. The band were really energetic and everyone was dancing which was great - the girls and I even did some moshing (I haven't moshed in years so this was rather amusing...); I actually got quite drunk with MofBAY (Mum of BAY), my very dear friend (it was the first time we had been 'out' in ages - she's recently been given the all clear after extensive breast cancer treatment) and ended up telling some of their friends from their posh village who were also at the gig that they were homophobic and should go back to the 'nowhere village they come from'. Oops.

MofBAY loved it of course. She and DofBAY (Dad of BAY) are Londoners who moved out so that their children could grow up away from the pressures of city life - sensible in theory, but finding like-minded people to mix with is the hard bit. Anyway, all in all it was fantastic and great to see the girls loving their first gig.

I retreated to my bedroom for most of Saturday - I've had a bit of a tough week emotionally to be honest and felt I needed some time away from people in general. (as an aside: I spoke to my sister who has felt her baby move for the first time - so exciting!)

Sunday I had plans to see other friends but cancelled those as well and watched a fantastic DVD called Happy Endings.

It probably wasn't that fantastic a film, but given my mood it was perfect. F/BF (Flatmate/Best Friend) had been crying Sunday morning in an uncontrollable stylee at hearing some news that a good friend of F/BF's mother has three months left to live, due to cancer in just about every internal organ imaginable. Bizarrely it made me think of my Nan who died at just 57 (I was 7 years old) and how I used to lie in bed with her in the last few weeks of her life (she died at home, my mother nursed her) and she still would tell jokes and try and make me laugh. Right up to the very end.

Anyway, Happy Endings made me cry again and then I sobbed uncontrollably for about 3 hours. Which was great. I feel so much better today for it. And my eyes look amazing.

**managed to somehow upload the photos! yay me! oh, and maggie gyllenhaal is beautiful... **

have a nice weekend...

2006-08-04T23:53:00.000+10:00

You've never been to Niagara Falls?
I have seen water, its water, that's all...
The Eiffel Tower, the Empire State?
My pulse was as high on my very first date!
Your grandson's hand as he plays with your hair?
To be honest, I really don't care...

I've seen it all, I've seen the dark
I've seen the brightness in one little spark.
I've seen what I chose and I've seen what I need,
And that is enough, to want more would be greed.
I've seen what I was and I know what I'll be
I've seen it all - there is no more to see!

.... I've been listening to bjork again

Tag-Head by my beeiiiaatch Dabich

2006-08-02T23:14:00.000+10:00

I haven't been tagged for ages so was a bit excited to see this one via my favourite beeiiiaatch:

Rapper Name - Homo (Z)apian. (well this is a ridiculous answer to a ridiculous question... sorry, Scribe...)

Alternative Rock Band Name - Stardusters.

Name your pain - The pain of existence.

1 True Word That Symbolizes God - Reality.

1 True Love or 1 Million Dollars? - True love every time.

Live Free or Die Stupid? - I'm already stupid so I'll choose the Live Free.

Purist, happiest moment ever (8 words or less) - My first ever orgasm.

Most Influential Life Lesson - Trust is something that has to be earned.

Most Succesful Person You Least Admire - George Bush.

Where we go when we die (1 word) - Somewhere.

Worst TV Show of the Past Decade - Big Brother (especially in its current incarnation).

Best TV Show of the Past Decade - Doctor Who.... NO, Kath & Kim, NO... Catherine Tate... OH I CAN'T CHOOSE!!!

Still with me, yes or no? - Struggling through it somehow....

Burning Building - baby or dog? - I'm with Dabich on this one, one under each arm.

Who runs the world? (2 words or less) - Bigoted losers.

Worst Idea You Ever Had - To stay in the relationship with my ex-partner (the Wanker).

Shittiest Job You Ever Had - Hotel receptionist - although the stories I could tell are good ;-)

Best Job You've Ever Had - The one still to come (or at least that's what I'm telling myself).

I believe I have to now tag 3 others to keep in the spirit of the game... so I tag Ryan, Constant (seeing as Scribe chose not to) and the Twinkling Monkey...

Boyfriend of the Week

2006-08-01T19:38:00.000+10:00

My weekend was way too full of things for me to talk about, the thought of writing it down is slightly overwhelming (and as I'm feeling a little emotionally fragile I just can't do it);

so instead, here is my Boyfriend of the Week.

Mike Patton, formerly of Faith No More and Epic fame.

I want him to look like he did then though. Yeah.

Smug Gays and Marriage

2006-07-26T21:38:00.000+10:00

Although I doubt I will personally ever get married, I don't have a problem with other gay people choosing to do so. In fact, I support whatever decision someone makes for themselves with regards to commitment - after all, it is their relationship, not mine.

That said, I am finding it quite difficult at the moment with various people around me.

TWG (The Welsh Gay) is currently planning his marriage to the man he has been in a relationship with for 7 years. Great. Apart from the fact that they have both had 'extra-marital' affairs and search for 'extra-marital' trysts together constantly.

Um, sorry - but how does that fit in to the 'sanctity' of marriage? For example:

"I, John take thee Barry to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till in death we part, and with this ring I thee wed, and with my body I thee honor, and pledge my unfaithfulness."

Actually Barry - it's all about the threesomes. Why bother marry, TWG? And what exact reason do you have to be so smug about it?

Devil's Haircut

2006-07-24T23:56:00.000+10:00

DB (Ditzy Blonde) returned from Kiwi-Land recently and I was ecstatic for two reasons:

1. She is fantastic company and makes more inappropriate, silly comments than I do.

2. She is the only other person apart from my sister who cuts my hair well.

What I also love about DB is that when she sees me she just decides what is going to happen with my hair. I have no choice in the matter.

I am not very good at making decisions like what haircut to have; however, occasionally DB cuts my hair and I think: SHIT.

It's not that I don't like the haircut, more that I worry about how it is going to go down at my workplace. My boss is rather conservative (as is the industry I work in) and our clients even more so. So on Saturday when DB cut my hair before we all headed out to dinner and drinks in cutting edge Clerkenwell, I was quite happy with the German-military-deconstructed-buzzcut-haircut.

After several bottles of wine and numerous post dinner drinks (Cointreau was my digestive of choice) it seemed truly fantastic. OBF and I decided to do a photo shoot around my hair in a drunken stylee of which I've attached a photo...

Upon waking on Sunday morning with a massive hangover and thinking about the huge meeting I had on Monday morning, I wasn't so sure. In fact, I felt very unsure.

Book Geeks # 1

2006-07-24T22:58:00.000+10:00

Friday night a group of us held our inaugural book club meeting - it was a huge success! The group consists of only 4 of us - DJ Slippers, Mrs Vanderbilt, Kevin Aucoin and myself, and our first book was one of Mrs Vanderbilt's choices - Homage to Catalonia by George Orwell.

The book was chosen at random from a list we had each chosen two books for, and to be honest, when this book was selected I wasn't that happy. Although I love George Orwell's writing (Nineteen Eighty-Four is an amazing novel), the concept of reading about the Spanish Civil War filled me with dread. I normally *hate* books or films to do with war.

So I was thrilled to find that as I read the book I was enjoying it more and more! It is written in Orwell's typically lyrical, beautiful style whilst remaining clear and understandable.

Although each of us had slightly different opinions, the discussion was lively and exciting, and everyone worked well together. The conversation bounced all over the place, from the content and style of the book to the current global political state of the world, to Orwell's amazing vision. All washed down with several bottles of lovely wine and some themed snacks - Spanish tapas of course.

Ziggy for one can't wait for the next meeting. Long live the Book Geeks!

What you do, Bubba?

2006-07-21T20:06:00.000+10:00

I've been keeping a secret for weeks now but am not prepared to for any longer.

Lil' Sis and B.I.L (Brother In Law) are pregnant! They've just had the 12 week scan and everything is good! No problems and apparently the baby was fooling around on the scan, waving at them and had a temper tantrum when my sister coughed.

Typical - my niece or nephew already has attitude. I guess it's in the genes.

YAY! I'm going to go baby clothes shopping over the weekend....

Lil' Sis/B.I.L - I love YOU! Congratulations, know that I'm thinking of you constantly.

Wherever I leave my hat...

2006-07-19T19:12:00.000+10:00

Last night I caught up with Handsome Lawyer (HL) whom I used to date for a short while before I started seeing The Wanker. It is the first time we have caught up properly for over 3 years, so I felt a bit apprehensive about it to say the least. How was I going to feel about him? How would he feel about me? Would I find him attractive? Would the conversation be OK? etc.

We met at the South Bank and it was a gorgeous evening - really balmy, warm and there people milling about everywhere. We went to have a drink right on the river and then ate at Fish! right next to Southwark Cathedral.

It felt like we were somewhere in the Mediterranean - sitting in my t-shirt outside at 10pm at night and still feeling warm. On the table next to us was Paul wherever I leave my hat, that's my home Young who, as an aside, looks great for his age. Botox perhaps?

After dinner we strolled along the river and I wondered why I let this 6'2 blonde, blue eyed, intelligent, Handsome Lawyer get away.

The question is: was I simply fooled by the romance of the evening/setting? I'm sure all will be revealed with time. It always is.

In other news, I received my mark on my Psychology exam and somehow managed a Distinction. How the hell I simply don't know.

and now breathe...

2006-07-17T19:36:00.000+10:00

My weekend was so brilliant that I don't even know where to begin. A few key points though:

Friday Night: Home alone, with copious amounts of red wine (oops), numerous Doctor Who DVDs and chatting to random blokes on gay.com pretending to be a 19 year old hustler. The fun never stops.

Saturday Day: Met up with NS (Non Smoker) at Balham Kitchen & Bar for liquid brunch before moving on to the Most Bizarre BBQ Ever. The host was a crazy Kiwi woman who had obviously been drinking since 9.30 in the morning so by the time her guests arrived was weaving slightly. The guests included an Asian Shirley Bassey lookalike who made me eat some of her curry and an awful gay man whose beautiful Kenyan husband was only with him so that he could stay in the country. True dat.

Saturday Night: Hospitality at the Red Hot Chili Peppers gig (FANTASTIC! What I can remember of it...) with NS (Non Smoker) - more alcohol (a combination of champagne, red wine and finally gin [?!?!]), drunken tube journey afterwards with NS's digital camera reminding us of our antics the next morning. All 199 photos. Mostly of fat ladies' bottoms and a sexy Jewish geek reading a London A-Z opposite us on the tube. At one point I wasn't sure I hadn't peed myself given how much NS and I were laughing. In fact, it was the man sitting behind me at the gig who had peed his pants - NS had photographic evidence of it the next day.

Sunday Day: Quite a bit of puking in the morning and then the Undercover Surrealism exhibition at the Hayward Gallery with TLB (Truly Lovely Boy) which took some work given how very hungover I was.

The screening of "Un Chien Andalou (An Andalusian Dog)" by Luis Bunuel was particularly difficult...

Mine's Gayer than yours, Butchie...

2006-07-13T18:37:00.000+10:00

Butchie always has such fantastically gay videos over at his blog, so I thought he might enjoy this one....

hopefully the rest of you will get a laugh out of it also.

London's latest problem

2006-07-12T19:23:00.000+10:00

First it was terrorism. Then it was Mad Cow's. Next came Avian Flu. Now it's....

CITY SHORTS.

This is a new blog dedicated to the issue at hand.

Please help me inform the masses of this growing problem.

Holes of Glory

2006-07-11T05:50:00.000+10:00

I went to the opening of an 'Art' exhibition called Gloryhole at the Architecture Foundation on Friday. It was organised by a mate of OBF's (Other Best Friend) and for me, at least, the most exciting part of the whole evening (apart from the free booze) was a performance by performance artist No Bra, who, (athough this may be stating the obvious), wore no bra. She also sported a moustache in a Hitler stylee, which is probably less obvious.

My favourite song she performed was called Munchausen, and with lines like "My uncle designed the anal staircase" and "I caught syphilis once in Top Shop", you can't really go wrong.

Saturday I cried during the final episode of Doctor Who - I'm so sad at Rose's departure (OK, I didn't much like Billie Piper at first but grew to love her).... and Sunday I went to a Japanimation festival with PoOBF (Partner of Other Best Friend) to see the beautifully spectacular The Place Promised in our Early Days by Makoto Shinkai who has been dubbed the new Hayao Miyazaki.

PoOBF had a bad case of narcolepsy throughout the entire film, but it didn't affect my enjoyment one little bit.

Truly stunning.

What wasn't stunning was walking out of the cinema and bumping in to SGB (Sexy Greek Boy) who I went on a date with a while back and for various reasons hadn't taken it any further.

Thankfully he looked like complete shit which made me feel better. Pathetic but true.

This messed with my head so I thought I'd share...

2006-07-07T01:23:00.000+10:00

Bitches in Heat

2006-07-04T23:42:00.000+10:00

Before my Biker Love In, during the day on Saturday I went to a summer party with a group of teachers I used to work with years ago which was fine, although I didn't really have much in common with the others there. The primary reason I went was to see my friends who were down from Sheffield with the triplets, one of whom is my non-God child.

A couple of the women started bitching about a very good friend of mine (MGL - Most Glamorous Laydee) who wasn't in attendance (she still teaches at the school but wasn't there - she isn't really a part of that 'clique') and I just sat there not saying anything (they didn't know I still see her).

About half an hour passed (with them bitching the whole time about MGL and me being unusually silent. The bitching was becoming quite vile and they said some things I would not ever dream repeating because they was so offensive to MGL) and the following transpired:

Bitch # 1: 'You're very quiet, Ziggy... do you remember MGL at all?'

Ziggy: 'Oh yes, in fact, I see her very regularly still'.

Bitch # 3 (stuttering slightly): 'How, in a professional sense?'

Ziggy: 'No, she is one of my very closest friends. In fact, she really is more like my family now. I see her once at least every 2 weeks and regard her as one of the most beautiful people I have ever met in my entire life.'

Bitches sit in complete silence. Bitch # 1 (Ringleader of the Bitches) starts to flush red from her cleavage all the way up her neck till she resembles a lolling beetroot on a stick.

After at least 5 minutes of complete and utter awkward silence, Bitch # 1 (Ringleader) makes some excuse to leave the party altogether.

Bitch # 3 now sidles up to me with: 'Why didn't you say something earlier when we were carrying on like that? We're so embarrassed...'

Ziggy's final retort as he leaves the party: 'That was the point, bitches.'

um... Happy Pride?

2006-07-03T22:46:00.000+10:00

So it was gay pride over the weekend and how many gay establishments did Ziggy attend?

Nada.

In fact, I had drinks and dinner with a mate on my roof terrace Saturday night, and then once she had left, joined my neighbour and her Biker Buddy (BB - sounds so gay, doesn't it?) who were also sitting on the roof.

When I first sat down with them (at around 11.30pm) it was obvious that he felt uncomfortable with me (he was about 6'2, with bulging muscles, a shaven head with large nasty scars visible pretty much everywhere on his body from significant motorbike accidents) most probably due to the fact that I was gay. Nothing was said to me, but you could tell that he wasn't entirely comfortable.

Two bottles of whiskey later at 4am and I had to extract myself from his arms that were wrapped around me, with him telling me what a fantastic 'bloke' I was and how much he loved me. Apparently I had more drinking power (and therefore testosterone) than most of his biker buddies...

I really enjoyed the night - it appealed to me that my 'gay pride' involved enabling this very straight biker to look past my sexuality and see me just as me.

A few randoms for a Friday

2006-06-30T18:28:00.000+10:00

1. There is a new manager at my local lunch bar EAT. He's lovely and I want to have his babies.

2. The sun is shining, it's actually quite warm and feels fucking fabulous.

3. I've been drinking all week and feel like I am about to have one big massive hangover.

4. A friend sent some photos of me he took in the year 2000 for his folio. I've decided I need a facelift so I can look like that again.

Flirt Off

2006-06-28T21:51:00.000+10:00

I’m crap at recognising when people find me attractive. I’ve never been good at it. When I was much younger and new to the gay scene, friends used to have to tell me when someone was attracted to me. I just didn’t get it.

Since then I have had several significant relationships and many more insignificant ones (ahem, *cough*… ), yet still struggle with ‘reading’ when people potentially find me attractive.

Saturday night, I went out to an event called ‘Architecture Rocks’ with OBF (Other Best Friend) and his friend who was visiting from the States – BAMB (Brazen Americana Male Beauty), who is simply incredible in his ability to go after someone. He hones in on someone and within 15 minutes or so they are attached to his lips. Anyway, there we were standing watching some German emo band with a shirtless lead singer (who was kinda hot, as an aside) when I realised that a very attractive guy was standing next to me and staring. We’ll call him CB (Cap Boy). Next thing I knew he had asked my name and I had been told his.

After a while BAMB came over and asked why I had gone so quiet in addition to being bright red and I explained to him that I found this lovely boy (CB) attractive and wasn’t great at times like that. BIG MISTAKE.

BAMB decided that it was his responsibility to ‘bring us together’. So awkwardly, he started saying things to CB like ‘so you’ve just arrived in the UK?’ (CB was from NYC and had just arrived to start studying his Masters of Fine Art at Goldsmiths) and before CB could answer, BAMB was already saying ‘Ziggy here can show you around. He’d love that. Ziggy give him your number. So you like art? Ziggy is a member of the Tate – get him to take you. Ziggy’s free Monday, Wednesday and Thursday night this week – when are you free?’ … etc, etc.

And I have to say, that although all of this made me even redder and literally shrink from my normal 6’1 to around 4 foot nothing, I completely and utterly admired BAMB’s tenacity. He decided that CB and I would be a perfect match and did everything in his power (within that limited window) to make it a reality.

Of course, at the end of the night I skulked out without speaking another word to CB. I know, I know... I'm useless.

Defining Chavness

2006-06-26T18:14:00.000+10:00

In my last post, I used the term 'chav' and didn't think about how I was potentially excluding anyone not based in England. Sorry about that. To make up for my exclusive behaviour, here's a definition from the fantastic Urban Dictionary:

11. Chav

Humanoid in appearance, but primative and animalistic in nature, chavs are fast becoming the bane of humanity. Now all but classified as a completely seperate species, chavs took the left of the fork on the road of evolution when everybody else went right. Today, chavs can be seen in almost every urban area of Britain. Easily identified by either their baseball caps, hooped sports sweaters, excess Burberry and impossibly colourful Nike trainers (male) or scraped back frizzy hair, earrings you could train a dolphin to jump through, cheap leggings and Reebok Classics (female), chavs hunt in packs. Unlike other species, chavs hunt for cigarettes and bus fare instead of food. Food is always obtained at fast food establishments such as McDonalds, or convenience stores (Spar, Late Shop). It is quite common for food to be thrown instead of eaten, with the chav preferring his / her fags and cider / Lambrini (charver cava). Chavs are normally hostile towards humans, particularly those who favour alternative music, whom they have branded "moshers" or "grungers". A chav's music collection is limited. Hip-hop and hardcore for the males, Britney and trance for the females. Dogs (the more volatile, the better), mobile phones, cheap or fake gold and "souped-up" (debadged) 1990's Vauxhall Novas are must-have accessories. Note: the above description typifies the average chav, but there are actually quite a few varieties. Be sure to look for them at any of the following locations: McDonalds, Burger King, Spar, Late Shop, Primark, TK-Maxx, any sportswear retailer or any local park (after 6pm). Examples of a chav's primative vocabulary are as follows:

Chav: Eeyar yo! Mosha! Gotta spare cig?
Brian: No, I don't smoke.
Chav: Wha' ya mean no, ya f*kin' mosha? Ah spark ya!
Brian: Go on then...
Chav: Yo Trace! (emerging from Mothercare) Pass us me mob so I can fone ya bruv!
Trace: Why, ya f*kin dick'ed?
Chav: So he can tune diss chav for me!
Trace: Got no credit, yo!
Trace's baby:
Trace: Shut it ya little fucka!

- I hope that clears it up for everyone... but if not, check out the informative ChavScum to bring you up to speed!

Chav McQueen

2006-06-23T19:14:00.000+10:00

Well, the exam is over. That's about as much as I can say about that for now - until I get my results I'm keeping my lips zipped.

After I'd finished I wandered down to Hoxton, saw the Gary Hume exhibition at the White Cube; had a big coffee and some banana cake at a uber-cool cafe in Hoxton Square and then met OBF (Other Best Friend) at his new place in Shoreditch. It is so cute, and I haven't seen him looking so happy for ages.

We wandered back to Hoxton Square to a cheapo noodle bar for dinner (after a couple of beers) and sitting near us was Alexander McQueen, dressed like a complete chav. What is it with him? He has to be one of the brilliant designers of the moment, producing some truly incredible stuff - so what about his own appearance?

Maybe he's just going through a phase... ".... um, Mum, I have something I have to tell you.... I think I might be a Chav."

Yaoi of the Week

2006-06-22T01:28:00.000+10:00

As my mind is literally swimming with detail as I approach my exam date (tomorrow)... I decided to post my semi-regular 'Boyfriend of the Week', thinking it would be something relatively simple.

Problem being, I couldn't even bear to think about anything remotely sexual right now.

So instead, I'm posting a Yaoi looking dude which I think pretty much sums up my current emotional state...

Psycho-Babble

2006-06-19T21:13:00.000+10:00

My weekend consisted of study, study and more study. I have my Psycho exam on Thursday and am actually pretty nervous about it. The devil is in the detail in this case - or the details. I have so many theories flying around my brain.... if I can remember which theory belongs to which theorist it will be a near miracle.

Psychology has so many 'labels' it is untrue - and to remember them all is a near impossibility. Oh well - as my lovely friend NS (Non Smoker) pointed out - the statistics aren't looking too bad. Even if I guess most of my answers, there is a likelihood I guess a number of them correctly.

Let's hope that's the case ....

Mum, please don't read this post

2006-06-17T01:19:00.000+10:00

I read an entry of the fabulous Zuzula's blog today which actually make me laugh so hard I cried. I'm hoping she doesn't mind that I'm sharing with you the passage (excuse the pun) that particularly appealed:

"... Neither of them have ever called me Cuntface though.

And when you think about it, what an interesting term that is. Can you imagine if you actually did look like a cunt? Might be a bit embarrassing. Especially once you started throbbing with excitement. Wouldn't go down too well at important meetings or family gatherings. And what on earth would you do with your hair?"

Glittery Gays

2006-06-14T20:38:00.000+10:00

NS (Non Smoker) was kind enough to invite me to see a play - "Love me, Dorothy!" Tuesday night which was a lovely thought given my parental absence. It is always so much fun to see him - we have a lot in common, but are both so evil that the conversation never becomes tiresome.

The play was, in short, truly hilarious. But not really in a good way. It was like one of those films where it's so bad that it is actually brilliant. NS felt the need to apologise to me the entire way through, but there was no need - I laughed so hard a little bit of wee came out.

Lines including 'my lady garden needs tending' really cheered me up. Check out this fabulous review.

Afterwards we decided to wander over to Trash Planet for a post mortem, and awkwardly, at the front door (there is a long stairwell to get up to the actual bar) there was a glittered gay sitting in a wheelchair having a conversation with the doorbitch (an intimidating and rather large lesbian wearing some type of odd red spacesuit) who appeared to not want to let him in. NS and I were obviously suitably upset by this and had a brief conversation (between us) about carrying him up the stairs in his wheelchair, before deciding that it wasn't particularly our business (maybe it was the Nazi lesbian doorbitch's presence...).

Shortly after we sat down to our first drink, we were surprised to see GG (Glitter Gay) making an awkward journey up the second stairwell by foot and realised that he was obviously well known by the lesbian doorbitch we had previously (and probably unfairly) labelled a Nazi.

He gatecrashed a group of poofs sitting near us and worked the room like a well known celebrity (aka prostitute), literally draping himself over one of them. We couldn't help but wonder if the wheelchair had been some type of initial prop.

The whole thing felt like a scene from a Todd Solondz film to be honest. Which of course, thrilled me no end.

* random photo of Leigh Bowery simply there because I think he was the most fabulous glittery gay of all...

Tag-Head.

2006-06-14T02:11:00.000+10:00

Right, before I start this tag, I have to apologise to Dabich for not doing hers months ago. Sorry, Dabich. It was right in the middle of my parental visit and I just didn't manage it! Hopefully my answers to this tag by K~ will compensate?

I know – that soon I may melt.
I believe – that fireflies tell the truth.
I fought – against the evil of botox. (did I? no, actually I just made that up.)
I am angered – by people who fart in small places.
I love – food.
I need – to decide what I want to be.
I take – prozac. Not really. I just drink lots of gin.
I hear – traffic go past my apartment all night.
I drink – lots of gin.
I hate – ignorance.
I use – bone china when I drink tea.
I want – my own Totoro.
I decided – that I’m an atypical gay.
I like – people.
I am - myself.
I feel – displaced a lot of the time.
I left – my family in Australia.
I do – kiss boys.
I hope – to not go mad.
I dream – about people I know and don’t know.
I drive – people a bit crazy.
I listen – most of the time, unless someone bores me.
I type – fast. Go speed racer.
I think – too much.
I wish – a lot.
I compensate – for my misbehaviour.
I regret – my psychotic episodes.
I care – what happens to my friends and family.
I should – be more positive.
I am not always - sober.
I said – “please sign my tit” to Gene Simmons. (not really but I wish I had).
I wonder – what will happen to the world.
I changed – my underwear this morning.
I cry – at the most ridiculous things and inappropriate moments.
I am – Ziggy.
I am not – David Bowie.
I lose – my keys quite often.
I leave – my sanity at home from time to time.

I think I have to tag others now... but how many? hhhmmm. I tag:

Ryan who loves cybersex
This Monkey who Twinkles
The Bohemian of all Lady Bohemians
The Man who Muses Middle Age

please let me know when you've completed it...

Virtual Pants

2006-06-12T21:29:00.000+10:00

I'm feeling very sorry for myself today as I waved the parentals off yesterday - back to Australia they go. It has been a fantastic two months of lots of travelling and good fun - we finished their trip in the Highlands of Scotland which was just incredible.

During all of this I was trying (via some dodgy internet sites) to arrange a few dates so I would have something interesting/amusing to blog about and something very strange happened. It turns out that two of the guys I was 'chatting' to had actually dated one another previously. Both of them got very pissed off with me for 'cheating' on them - um, hello - we haven't actually met (!?!?) and so both of those dates went down the drain. Which is fine by me - apart from the fact that it is potentially 2 good dating stories I've now lost!

One of the guys actually sent me a message saying 'you've been caught with your virtual pants down buddy'. I mean, really. Puh-lease.

Dancing of the Poles

2006-06-02T18:47:00.000+10:00

Well the weekend is upon us again and what with audits at work, flirting online with my prospective dates and entertaining my parents by taking them to Sunday in the Park with George by Sondheim (amazing!), I've had very little time to blog about last weekend.

My parents, F/BF (Flatmate/Best Friend) and I went to Cornwall over the Bank Holiday weekend and spent four days down there. It was beautiful and we did a variety of exciting things including an evening of theatre at the Minack, which is the most beautiful open air theatre I have ever been to, set in to the side of a cliff face, overlooking the ocean.

We were lucky enough to be staying in a converted fire station in a Cornish village near Penzance and Land's End; the attic room F/BF and I shared had a pole supporting the roof which we obviously utilised with some impromptu pole dancing. Even my mother joined in. Unfortunately we only captured F/BF and myself on film...

Boyfriend of the Week

2006-06-02T01:32:00.000+10:00

Thom Yorke.

Point 1: Genius.

Point 2: Two new albums out soon - one solo, one with Radiohead.

Definite Boyfriend material. Fact.

The Gay Diaries of Bridget Jones

2006-05-25T21:41:00.000+10:00

So anyway, I'm pretty much bored of reading my own blog. It's repetitive and needs a kick up the arse (excuse the pun).

So I've decided to go out there and have a few dates to spice things up. I need some stories, and let's face it - the most exciting ones are always when I meet some weirdo off the internet.

Here's a couple of my personal favourites:

* The autistic sadmasochistic nerd

* The groping ethnocentric wanker

I wonder if I'll be able to top those? As soon as I've been on some dates I'll let you know...

Che cosa fai?

2006-05-23T00:17:00.000+10:00

Sun, Sea and ... more Sun?

2006-05-12T23:20:00.000+10:00

I'm flying to the Cinque Terre in Italy on the weekend for a week in the sun with the parentals.

Hoo-fucking-ray.

This is our view from the terrazza apparently...

It's a hard life.

Me, Me, Me, Me, ME

2006-05-11T20:29:00.000+10:00

Today is all about ME. So Happy Birthday to ME. And here's a few of my favourite cards. (sent to ME).

Peaks, Boyfriends and Butts

2006-05-08T19:02:00.000+10:00

I took the parentals to see my friends in Sheffield over the weekend, and while we were up there we took a visit to Chatsworth House. I've been there on numerous occasions, but Moors e' Papa loved it. On the way back, my friend took us through Castleton, what a view! I was astounded by the scenery, which is never a good thing to be whilst you're driving.

I also just noticed that my last post (Chanel, Dior, Chanel, Dior) was my 100th post. 100 posts? Craziness. Can't believe I've written that much crap.

Thirdly, I have a new Boyfriend of the Week. Jon Thor Birgisson - the lead singer of Sigur Ros, and a self proclaimed gay.

Although I may have some stiff competition from Ryan McGinley.

I seem to recall reading an article he wrote in Butt Magazine about scoring Mr Birgisson.

DAMN YOU MCGINLEY.

Chanel, Dior, Chanel, Dior...

2006-05-05T00:16:00.000+10:00

Somehow I stumbled upon this blog today - which is no longer only a 'blog' but really now a 'brand'.

In Bryanboy's own words:

"Adventures of the new-moneyed classless bitch from hell. Vulgarity is the new discreet. Trash is the new exclusivity. I AM THE FORBIDDEN FRUIT. I MEAN, FRUITCAKE. I'm planet earth's favourite third world faggot and the land of the brown, l'exotique and the natives has never been this *burp* chic."

This boy is a genius. I think it may be the best website I've ever seen. I may have to send a photo of myself in with "I LOVE BRYANBOY" written on my backside.

Clean Feet

2006-05-03T18:22:00.000+10:00

I finally caught up with Foot Slave Master (FSM) last night, I'd been dying to see him since I returned from Australia. Foot Slave Master (FSM) is not his real name, but I'm using that alias for a reason.

Recently, this particular friend has accidentally become a Master to a Foot Slave. How did this happen 'accidentally' I hear you ask? Well that's the funny bit. A friend of FSM's has recently gotten in to the foot fetish scene and one night when out drinking with FSM thought it would be a laugh to get one of his 'slaves' to start worshipping FSM's feet. So that's how it begun.

The bit that surprised FSM is that he is quite enjoying the role. When we discussed this last night, I wasn't that surprised - I think it is an issue of power. All of us have secret (or not so secret) yearnings for power of some kind I think. Either to have more or less of it.

I once knew a girl who worked part time on the reception desk of an S&M dungeon in Perth to support herself financially through university. Whilst she was working there she became more and more intrigued by what the 'mistresses' did and decided to give it a try. At first she found it slightly amusing, but after a while, really started to enjoy it. Her 'mistress' persona became more and more significant, until one day, she felt like she was losing a sense of who she really was. The 'acts' she was prepared to do became heavier (in many people's perception, downright nasty). It scared her, so she gave the gig up - even though financially she was earning more than she ever had (and probably will again!)

There is obviously a significant market out there around this sort of behaviour, which begs the question: how many of us want to control or be controlled?

Cheeky Monkey

2006-04-27T22:18:00.000+10:00

I went out with Twinkle Monkey on Tuesday night; we hadn't had a proper catch up for ages and it was so good to see him.

A comment he made struck me afterwards though: he reminded me (just in the course of our conversation) that he continues to see most of his ex-boyfriends (including me!) as friends now. It made me realise that of my ex-boyfriends, he is the only man I manage to maintain a friendship with.

Why is that?

* My first boyfriend (of 3+ years) vowed that if I left him he would never speak to me again (and has kept to his promise).

* My second boyfriend (of about 10 months) I saw a handful of times after we broke up and he maintained that he was 'in love' with me, so I decided to make a clean break completely and have never really been back in touch with him since.

* My third boyfriend (of around 2 years) was cheating on me with half of the gay community in London and lying to my face for the duration of the relationship, so I don't really want to talk to him again for fear of punching him.

Or at least, those are the reasons I use to justify the fact I don't see any of them.

The one I miss most, bizarrely, is the first boyfriend. Even though our relationship had significant flaws, I miss him a little. Perhaps that's because he still holds the power over me by choosing not to speak to me?

Dear Agony Aunt...

2006-04-22T00:01:00.000+10:00

It's probably not appropriate whilst my parents are staying with me, but jeez, life carries on really, doesn't it?

I went to the gym last night and yet again, was quite happily working out before suddenly realising I was being watched. It isn't the first time it's happened, but this time it was by someone really quite gorgeous. We'll call him BGGB (Bloody Gorgeous Gym Boy).

Great face, lovely tan, ultra-toned body (yes that would be intimidating when it came down to it but hey... I'm sure I could deal with that insecurity...); this guy was the kind of guy you see on the street and wonder who is lucky enough to be noticed by him.

Of course, I got all flustered and looked even redder than I already was from my workout. I mean, what are you supposed to do in a situation like this? It was clear that he was looking over at me in a particular way - I mean, I'm clueless but not that clueless.

What I did do was to finish my stretching quickly, hurredly go to the changerooms and then got out of there as quickly as possible. I know, I know... I'm pathetic.

But what's the alternative? What is one to do when someone checks you out like that? Go up to them? Ask for their number? Offer yours? I mean, a boy's got his pride! I've always been useless at this sort of thing.

So any suggestions are welcomed gratefully... answers on a postcard please (or a comment box in lieu of a postcard).

Akira!

2006-04-20T18:23:00.000+10:00

So my parentals are here in London at the moment, which is bliss. A lot of my friends don't really understand the relationship I have with my parents, they are more like two of my best friends. We always have a laugh, I never get irritated at either of them and can talk about anything together. I think it is a pretty unusual situation.

But I'm not going to talk about that anymore just yet - I'm sure there will be plenty more stories over the next two months while they are here.... so instead, I'm just going to rave for a few moments about "Akira" which I revisited recently.

Two words: SEE IT.

Rolling in...

2006-04-12T22:38:00.000+10:00

So after a few days back in London I have the following to report:

1. I hate my job. Like, I really, really, really, really HATE my job.

2. SGB (Sexy Greek Boy) whom asked me on a date before I went to Australia has been seriously messing me about.

3. I miss my sister and B.I.L. sooooo much it hurts.

4. The weather is SHIT.

5. My psychology studies are about to suffer because of lack of time.

6. I can't wait for my parents to arrive to distract me from my gloom.

Boyfriend of the Week (in an Aussie stylee)

2006-04-12T01:43:00.000+10:00

John Steffensen. Some may call him arrogant. I just call him bloody gorgeous.

Juiciest Bits

2006-04-09T17:11:00.000+10:00

Well, I'm back in good old Blighty. And it feels OK. Ish.

I thought I might just list a few of my favourite moments from my time in Australia this time (it feels I've been away for ages); there were many to choose from:

* Hanging with The Folks in their sunny backyard (always good)

* Being taken out to dinner by FWSH (Friend With Substance and History) in Melbourne; we helped each other through difficult (and in his case, complicated) separations and share an incredible connection as a result - I could talk with him forever.

* Strolling around Brunswick Street by myself and flirting with all the indie boys

* Attending F/BF's Brother, YTR (Yeah That's Right) and Beer Monster's Wedding in Perth, held in what was previously a crazy hospital!

* Seeing FB (Fire Ball) in Perth whom I used to work with; I'm grabbing your titties virtually, sweetie.

* Feeling the sun prickle my skin

* Seeing LEWAPO (Lesbian Everyone Wants A Piece Of) in Sydney and going to several dyke establishments with her; God Love the Lesbotics. LEWAPO: Fuck, you're beautiful.

* Every single moment spent with my Sister and B.I.L (Brother In Law). But most especially, the evening in the Moon Bar (our place).

* Meeting up with the (MG) Melbourne Gay who'd contacted me via a music site and finding his closest friend incredibly attractive...

* Catching up with several gorgeous friends whom I went to school with and seeing how their lives have changed.

* Feeling the sun prickle my skin

* Meeting the guy in Sydney my ex (The Wanker) had a short 'relationship' with (subsequent to me) who is friends with LEWAPO and having a little tete-a-tete with him. (pleasant euphemism).

(Well, Ziggy has never been one to shy away from confrontation....)

And finally, seeing my Niece (Charlie) and Nephew (Elvis) again. The naughtiest pugs in the entire world.

Grotty/Glossy

2006-03-30T16:52:00.000+11:00

Well, I've just spent a couple of days in Melbourne - and loved it. Even though I was working (pretty hard, but with just enough time to catch up with a few friends...) I still managed to get out to a couple of nice restaurants, and even a bar! I had forgotten what a cool city Melbourne is... kind of grotty and extremely welcoming; it seems there that it matters not who or what you are - people are very accepting.

I've just arrived in Sydney and am staying in a big hotel in the centre of the city. Sydney is just the opposite of Melbourne: Glossy. It's a big, beautiful, brassy city with gorgeous people (almost intimidatingly so...) everywhere. And to call it beautiful is an understatement. The sun seems to bounce off every sandstone building, the water seems to glisten around every corner and edge of the city; and the Harbour Bridge just watches over it all. To top it all off, I'm catching up with a friend I haven't seen for 5 years tonight.

Both cities could offer me something lifestyle wise. Which is incredibly reassuring when considering my options....

D.I.D. aka Split Personality

2006-03-25T17:40:00.000+11:00

So I've been here in Perth for a week now, and what with a little bit of work (and I mean a *little*) and many trips to the beach, between catching up with friends and family; I've been considering what it would be like to live here permanently.

The difficulty is, I've lived in London for so long now that it has kind of gotten under my skin. I have such a love/hate relationship with London; but when I come back here, the love bit really comes to the fore.

In equal measures, I now have a love/hate relationship with Perth. This place offers the most amazing lifestyle - good food, great beaches, wonderful weather and relaxed, happy people.

There are negatives to Perth though. It is reported to be the most geographically isolated city in the world, and gee, does it feel it. A lot of people are small minded and have problems with gay people (oops, that's a little difficult for me).

So as always, my trip back to the homeland is always a little confusing. Life, love and the universe all being pondered on the most beautiful white sandy beach imaginable. Hhhhhmmmm.